usually i'm not the girl making resolutions one time a year. i generally try to make myself a better person constantly. however, in 2010 i am making one big change. i am consciously cutting out things that are bad for me.
those little vices that turn into bigger emotional wrecks are going to be phased out. this year i've learned the hard way that i'm a bit masochistic. perpetuating decisions that encourage behaviors fraught with disrespect, convoluted intentions, or generally cause mass amounts of emotional turmoil and hysteria in my life will be kicked to the curb.
i'm actually going to begin trusting my instincts a bit more. it's not always realistic, and it's not always something i can plan, but i'm generally always right.
as most of you know, i spent a fantastic chunk of my 2009 enamored with men who'll never love me back the way i want.
i'll be leaving that in 2009.
so, that's just a little thing i'm getting together in december. i'm preparing for the jump to really let go of those feelings that are one sided in reality. sure when they're reciprocated out of curiosity they're fantastic and wonderful. but you can't build a relationship on sometimes. you can't communicate with sporadic. and you most certainly can't establish trust through semi-reciprocated curiosity.
though i fancy gray, i'm a black and white kind of girl. and really, i'm okay with that. i have plans. i know what i don't want. essentially each day of my own growth will get me closer to those things i do want. and i'm sure when i get there i'll want something different, better, or more.
what a maddening and beautiful adventure this will be.
things that might make sense
-
maybe it's because i'm the world-class cuddle champ, but i really love the message in this song. so often people get caught up in wo...
-
i generally find myself in rather peculiar situations. it's just the way i roll. yesterday was no different. after a tumultuous go of fi...
-
last time i consulted the calendar, the year was 2010. it amazes me how the idea of a modern, forward-moving society seems a facade, at be...
-
in an effort to not angry blog, i've taken a few days to think about some things that have been bothering me. i had dinner with two of t... -
coffee from Asia makes me happy. mmm.
2 comments:
Best line of this whole post: "you can't build a relationship on sometimes."
I am all too familiar with this realization, and this has been the foundation of my resolve in the recent past as well.
well said, and I'm so glad you're at the place you're at.
love!
-audra-
i reallly love the way you write. i have another favorite blogger.
and uggh to men. i've attempted to make that resolution the second half of 2009. i love spontaneity, but i've also come to terms with the fact that if i wait it out, most my 'crushes' fall apart and i've saved myself a world of turmoil. i'm waiting for that boy that plagues my mind no matter how long i try to forget him.
Post a Comment