incurable humanist

"i've been thinking about you," he said.

i could tell he meant a kind of thinking that people long for. a kind of thinking full of possibilities and questions and adoration.

"i've been thinking of you too," i said truthfully.

but this time the thoughts weren't of possibility. they were of love and respect, but no romance.

for the first time i'm not confused about you. i know exactly how i feel. it makes me feel free and sad and encouraged and happy.


you were almost perfect, as so many of them are.

all kinds of beautiful

last week/weekend was brilliant.

i had a few days off work and i spent them working from red cup and exploring the city. i don't go on enough adventures, and i got a few of those in.

one in particular was special. do you ever walk in a place and immediately know how special it is? well, that happened. it's a precious record store, ran by an older gentleman with tons of charm and stories for days. i plan to return to get some good jazz and a record player. i'm really glad i tagged along with some new friends. it just goes to show that you should never pass up an opportunity to meet someone.

i feel like my real self during the fall, so i've just been achingly happy, which is nice.

got to celebrate jeramy's bday, and as always, that night was not a disappointment. then, my new friend kate's birthday was on saturday. her friends are all fantastic, and i'm really looking forward to getting to know those souls a bit better.

had to go back to work this week. it definitely wasn't the highlight of my fall, but that's all right. i have a busy few weeks coming up, and i intend to properly manage my time so that i might have a glorious time in sin city.

today i asked a good friend what she thought i liked. (after she had asked me that earlier in the day.) this was her response...

wine and cucumbers! and rain and people! and all things british...

it's good to know that those are all things that i love. so, i pick observant friends, i like really cool things, and i'm pretty happy with the person i am.

a bit weird? definitely. but i wear that label proudly.

as most of you know, the whole men fast thing sort of went down in flames before October really started. good job, jenn. however, i sort of set myself up for failure. :)

it's turned into more of a "let's pick better people to be in my life" sort of thing. i like the way it's working out, and i have already made some good decisions concerning people i should or should not befriend.

i've decided i'm not dating for a while. it's just stressful, and frankly, i haven't met a guy in a really long time who's worth the time. i continually justify their actions, goals (ie. where they are at in life), and i can't do that anymore.

i'm 25. i have my act together (mostly), and i want someone who will offer me the same in return.

so, that's what i've learned so far in this. stay tuned for much more, i'm sure.

oh, juan.

today was beautiful and complete.


it's about the small things for me, and i'm learning to enjoy those things to the absolute fullest. taking in every second of a moment is a new thing for me. i've struggled so long with dreaming too much, all the time.


when i finally realized the pattern i'd been living my life in, i decided to change that.


what i've found has been contentment. it's been adventure and beauty and love.


and tonight i'm going to sleep with dreams of tomorrow and the excitement that holds.

some things that i've learned about myself are that i love hats and red wine. sometimes i talk too much and don't take the time to really listen to people. i love people, so i'm really going to try and work on that.