must...re-charge...

i have my big deadline today.

two magazine deadlines due friday.

you don't even want to see my closet.

i'm thankful i have a honda and that gas is cheap.

otherwise, i'm afraid i might explode from the number of things that i must accomplish in this week. oye.

way down in new york town...

sigh.

today is rough.

i have so much to do that i'm finding it hard to concentrate. plus i have so much on my mind that i can't push it back.

i need advice, but it's one of those things i can't really talk to anyone about, so i will have to just figure it out on my own. usually i don't mind that, but i just don't know about this one.

ugh.

rough day.

i need some figurative sunshine.

frick!

yes, i've been watching Scrubs.

do i wish that i was as lovably neurotic as Elliot? yes. am i? fraid not... i am just a bit neurotic.

well, i know it's mildly cliche, but i'm taking a look over this past year, and i like what i see. it hasn't always been easy or fun...in fact, it was pretty freakin difficult. but, i've accomplished quite a bit, learned a ton, and i'm at a place where i feel pretty good about life.

of course i have my days that i freak and and wonder what kind of mess i've gotten myself into. or i project those things that have happened to me, hurt me, and become emotional for now reason. alas, i'm human. female human, at that, so i know that i have to sometimes deal with things that may not be fair...

however, i'm happy to have feelings. i'm grateful to be introspective and contemplative, and if that means that i'm a bit more sensitive when it comes to emotional triggers, then so be it.

i'll deal with, move on, and continue loving the person that i'm becoming.

2007 was rotten, 2008 was a smidge better...mainly due to the last 4 months, and i have a feeling that 2009 will be a great year.

oh and...

christmas was very amazing.

good one this year. i was pretty much happy all day. not because of gifts, but because of people, quality time, and the the thought is goes into things that people do give.

the zoo

i really want to go. i was just informed that they are open year-round, and i didn't know that.

geeze.

currently i'm trying to work in the big L-town, America.

there are two adorable middle-eastern children next to me. they are with their mom, and they are so well behaved. that makes me happy. so many children run around like crazies, throw fits constantly in hopes their parents will cave to the negative display (which they usually do).

these children beside me are so polite. the little boy, around 5 or so, was staring at me every time i looked up. his mom got embarassed and said that he was curious about my laptop. i smiled and invited him over to peer, and his mom was of course skiddish, like any good mother would be, but i assured her it was fine.

he smiled really big, his huge brown eyes full of wonder, and he hopped right up next to me and put his little hand on my arm.

he was so precious, and i wished i had something really cool to show him, but alas, it was just my laptop and a word file. i let him scroll and click, and you would have thought i would have taken him to disney world.

it just really blessed me, because the family was well-dressed (not that that matters at all)and clean (that does matter), yet both children were so open and seemingly thankful for such small things.

the mother thanked me several times, and i told her that it was such a blessing to see a well-behaved, lovely family. she teared up a bit and thanked me again, and they left.

merry and bright

christmas eve makes me happy.

as does pie making with my fam. they rock.

likey

last night i had a work christmas party, and i got a really cool scarf! it makes me very, very happy. it is handmade with love. yes.

when you've got it coming

well, tonight i am happy because i've had a chance to be alone for a bit and collect my thoughts.

i realize today that i can't control other people/circumstances, and getting stressed about those things is silly. just plain silly.

i'm an intelligent, strong individual, and i will not be defeated by a bad man and an american stick insect. wait...okay, i just really wanted to quote that line. i love, love, love, Bridget Jones.

but, seriously. what good does it do to become reactive to negative behavior? absolutely nothing. and really, it's exactly what the other person (people) want you to do, which is lame.

so, this week is my power week. i'm not going to be emotionally influenced by things beyond my control. i'm going to work hard at the things i know, and that will in turn my my life just a little better.

here's some power music:

yesterday i got to try something new, which always makes me happy.

do it for peace

this moves me.

i don't need no robocop

thanks for the reminder, kanye, to not be a crazy person.

severely addicted

to classical music.

and i like it.

oh, and it no longer makes me happy to think about kane lyons. in fact, just the opposite.

i fear that i actually didn't know him at all, which is sad. alas, life and love is perpetually moving forward to better, purer forms. at least, that's what i strive for.

Happy Bday, Ludwig!

Today, back in 1770, one of the most influential composers entered the world.

He had a tough go of it. As if living in the 1700s wasn't hard enough, he lost his hearing early on in his twenties and was thought to have bipolar disorder.

Nonetheless, his tortured soul sure produced some beautiful sound.

Needless to say, he makes me very happy.

What a beautiful mess I'm in.

many times in my life i have found myself thinking, Jenn, how did you get yourself here?

surprisingly, i'm rather patient with myself. i generally laugh, and think that only i could have been as ditzy to drive myself headlong into a seemingly impossible situation.

last night was no exception.

i have a feeling that God is rather amused with me on many days. i'm ridiculous, and i like it.

i learn quickly, but apply slowly.
i think thoroughly, yet rarely do i express my clarity. i'm not sure why.

most times i think too fast, and i get frustrated with the explanation that i offer to others. i would prefer if someone could crawl into my mind and view the beautiful fluidity that i see.

maybe i'm biased. maybe not.

anyway, i found myself in another ridiculous situation last night, exhausted all logical options, and ended up having to rely on my best friend for help.

i get that i can't do all. i get that i am human. i get that i will always be a person to have fantastically surreal stories that people will always say, "that only happens in the movies!"

i'm a lucky one. i love my life. always have and always will.

that's why, one day, when my book is completed to my satisfaction, i truly feel that it will feed the souls of those in need, offer up some humor for humdrum lives, and make my favorites very proud.

oh to breathe with contentment.

Just In Cases

Love Actually always makes me happy. Always.

a wild uproar

is a good way to describe my life.

i prefer it busy.

i'm happy with my job, my personal life...inevitably this usually means that something in my life is going to go fantastically awry.

i hope i have that perfectly wrong. i'm not being cynical...it's just the facts.

maybe i'll stub my toe today or something.

i have oh so many things to be thankful for. :-)

I Has Dance Party.

Dancing makes me happy!

Pages from my diary...

Well...I'm a bit behind. Not to make excuses, but I have been excessively happy and thankful.

December 5th
I got to spend some quality time with my mom. It was nice and made me happy.

December 6th and 7th
Jordan and I spent loads of time together, and I really enjoy hanging out with that boy. :-)

December 8th
The start of a new week without food poisoning...now that's something to be thankful about.

December 9th
It snowed! It was only a little...but a little is better than none!

December 10th
I'm actually happy about being in Oklahoma today. Weird.

I Like It, In The City, When Two Worlds Collide

It makes me happy that Jordan is coming to visit. :-)

Applesauce

I'm happy that applesauce is sustaining me right now.

Oye. Don't get food poisoning. Seriously. It's no bueno.

Here's to the Bright Side

I totally have food poisoning. It's way uncomfortable.

I'm so wishing for a gag reflex right now. Alas, I must wait until my body decides it's time again. That's gross, I know. I'm sorry.

At least I'll lose my Turkey Day pounds.

Wowza

So, I've been skimpin'.

I have been getting some quality time with the fam, though. Mostly, I am truly thankful that I have an abundance of people in my life who love me fully. They are great, and I am truly blessed by them.

I've realized that my grandparents mean so much to me, and I have committed to making more of an effort to talk to them weekly. They are precious souls, and they have set excellent examples for living.