know (not in the bibilcal sense)

so i had a date last night. i was actually nervous, which is abnormal.

the date went pretty well. we had a good time and laughed a lot.

especially when i made a highly inappropriate, accidentally erotic remark.

we were having a lovely dinner of pho, and we were discussing places we had lived/wanted to live.

i epicly delivered, "i've only lived in dallas. i tried for about 2 solid years to get my visa, though. i really wanted to move to london. but basically you have to be independently wealthy or know people. and i have tried to KNOW lots of people."

there was a brief silence before uncontainable laughter.

"okay, that didn't come out right. i'm so embarrassed. i'm so sorry i said that."

"i'm not," date said between deep breaths.

so much for breaking the ice. i still can't believe i said that. oye.

current addiction(s): little debbie christmas trees, jumping squats, and music (freelance whales and penguin prison)

oh me, oh my

well, today i literally jumped up and down because of a boy. that hasn't happened in some time. it was kind of nice.

so silly, i know. but it's great to have a crush.

i've liked this guy since new year's eve. he was charming and nice, but not overbearing. i had a boyfriend at the time, and i'm not into infidelity, so i pushed him out of my mind.

i've run into him several times since then, and every time has gone the same. we have great conversation, we joke and flirt, and then we say goodbye and go our separate ways.

i was starting to get a little confused, but this weekend i realized that he may just be a little shy. or, as audra said, he could have been in a relationship until recently as well. he finally got my number in the most adorable fashion, and i was very pleased.

well, the reason for the jumping, is that i heard from him today. wahoo! the perfect amount of time, really. if i would have heard from him any sooner, i would have been immediately disinterested. if it would have been later in the week, i would have gotten nothing done at work for a few days, haha! that's what happens when i really have a crush on a boy.

also, it was in business hours. kudos.

this has gotten me to thinking about dating rules. isn't it funny that when you are uninterested in a guy, it's completely easy to play it cool? now, when your interest is piqued, that's when things get challenging.

one would think common sense would suffice, but unfortunately when in the situation, the idea of common or sense is hazy. over-analyzation takes over!

this has been a topic at work as of late. is there some secret society that huddles together and makes up rules that all of singleton must follow? i'm not sure. but i am usually a rule follwer, and i work well with boundaries. that being said...here are a few dating dos and don'ts we've come up with.

*if there is an exchange of numbers, the aggressor must be the first person to contact
*do not, repeat, do NOT friend them on myspace, facebook, linkedin, or follow their twitter until there is an established relationship. (feel free to creep a little if any of the listed are public.)
*do google them. you don't want to end up with a complete loser, and the internet is a good tool to figure out if they're completely bust or not.
*before there is an established relationship, expect texts or calls to come within business hours. if it's not in that time frame, they probably aren't a keeper.
*don't ever accept a same-day request for a date EVEN if you are free.
*when in initial communication phase, don't expect to hear from them every day. take it slow and get to know the person. sheesh!

for now, that's what we've come up with that pretty much everyone agrees on. dating is a lot of work, but it's also a lot of fun when done right.

if you don't believe it, come hang out with audra and i for about 5 minutes and you'll see!



it's so helpful to have such wonderful friends that love and support me every day.

as always, feel free to leave comments, add, subtract, build on, or just agree with!

when your mind's made up

today started out lovely.


i've kind of realized that i'm in this new, weird place that i don't really care about dating.

generally, i can tell whether i want to spend more time with someone in about 15-20 minutes. (usually)

although i guess it's nice to get the attention, i'm not sure that it's worth it. i don't have a problem being by myself. in fact, i almost prefer it. i'm finding that there are few people out there truly worth the time of having a romantic relationship with. until i find that person, then i guess i'm kind of kissing dating goodbye. haha. that's kind of weird to say, and i thought it was hilarious that promptly after i finished that book (I Kissed Dating Goodbye), he wrote a book about marriage with his wife. at the time i didn't really understand how that could come about, since he wasn't dating.

but now, i completely understand.

basically, i feel that accepting a date from a boy that i have no intention of starting a relationship with is a weakness. i feel that it makes it seem that i'm being validated through this male attention. the truth is that i don't really want or need that, so i would rather choose strength and find other, better things to do with my time.

Beauty is that which attracts the soul...

-Gibran

so, until i find someone with a sexy soul, i'm going to be content with just me. :-)


maybe you are wondering where i'll ever meet a man or get a boyfriend. well, i'm okay with testing this theory for a while and seeing what kind of quality is produced. if and when i get desperate, then maybe i'll accept a date from a dull, uninteresting, less than intelligent bloke.

instead of going on a bunch of dates with people that i already know i dont' want to spend more time with, i'm going to spend time with those that i love and care about.

i'll keep you posted on this, as i've been known to change my mind.

i hope you get your dreams

so, lately, my brudder has become uber protective of me. it's really cute.

after my last hurrah with dating, he said he feels that it's up to him now to ensure my love life gets better.

i think it's hilarious and i love him for it.

he has been really encouraging to me the last few months. he's really mature for his age, or maybe i've just been dealing with the immature kind too much (i tend to pick those).

he has been so rational any time i've had any issue and patiently reminded me of what i deserve and need in a partner.

i've had so many friends that have told me basically the same things he has, but for some reason his words have a calming effect on me.

my family has been really opening up to me about the kind of guy i'm attracted to. they are really encouraging and supportive, even though they would love to see my ride away into the sunset with a cowboy. i think they've given up on that dream. i think now they just really want me to settle down. haha.

they really liked my last bf (as did i), but they all agree that he wasn't at the level of emotional maturity that i want or need. that may or may not change, but i wish him all the best whatever the outcome for him may be.

my brother has been really patient, and showed me that it doesn't always have to do with age. he gave me advice when i had issues in my last relationship, and now that i look back and think, he is 20, so it really has nothing to do with the actual number.

so, i'm over being against dating younger...i think...

basically, i'm realizing that maybe what i'm attracted to isn't the healthiest thing for me. maybe what i thought i needed in a man is what i wanted in a man. maybe what i need is to open up my mind a bit for whatever is in store.

so, that's what i've decided.

also, london is back on. viva la londres!

can't. wait.



my fave piccie of me and brudder in jamaica.

too busy to blog?

life has been exhaustingly fast paced.

but, that's okay.

here's a recap!

-my ankle is mucho better
-i have all of my stuff in my apartment. huzzah. moving over.
-today i am joining aspen. super pumped.
-i got to see the fam this weekend. it was swell.
-i have a date this week
-i took my nose ring out. sad face. it kept getting really red and infected. so, i'm going to let it heal and possibly get the other side pierced in a few months.
-i really like my new room and am perusing for a nice piece of art
-my closet is so small that it's going to force me to do some much-needed condensing
-i am thinking about canceling my myspace. facebook is where all the cool kids are
-i'm back in love with buddha bar

that's pretty much the main stuff. i think.

Really, Jenn, Really?!

As I avoid the unhikable mountain of work that lies in front of me, I'm forced to contemplate the situations in my life.

Why am I a walking cliche?

I'm trying to think how many times I've started a sentence with, "There's this guy..."

But, there's this guy. He seems reasonable, intelligent, healthy, no baggage, interested, attractive, responsible, caring, attentive...

I know, right? So what's the problem? I think that I've become reconditioned to only deal with assholes. I'm used to games, cat and mouse chases, that ultimately result in my feeling down about myself, wondering how I could have done better. I can only assume that the guy feels victorious as he's successfully evaded another commitment.

I caught myself feeling smothered and a bit turned off today just because he was doing everything that I've ever wanted out of a male. Then it hit me. It is exactly what I do when I first meet someone that I find interesting. (Which really doesn't happen a lot.)

I get over involved, try way too hard, and end up scaring the poor smuck away. I get it now. It's a bit creepy...a bit misplaced, really.

But, then I think of myself. I know that sounds narcissistic, but hear me out.

I'm a pretty awesome catch. I know how hard I will work for someone else's happiness, and I know that no matter what, I always have the other person's interest at heart.

So, that being said, I'm going to overrule my initial feelings of freak out. I am also accepting that even if I do everything right, and so does he, we still might not work out.

And I'm okay with that.

Seeking intelligent, geeky-type hottie

Who would have ever thought that one's upbringing could be the source of so much confusion. Even though I recognize that I don't want the same life as my parents or grandparents, I still feel this urgency to pair up. Ugh. It's annoying.

Some days I'm completely fine, feeling great about my career and life in general, then some days all I want to do is crawl into bed with someone.

There is definitely something to say for cuddling and being a part of something. Which is essentially what is so alluring about a serious relationships. Everyone wants to feel wanted and needed.

Some days it's enough to feel that from friends...or even Bailey, but then there are those days that just don't cut it.

I'm really not complaining. I don't want to settle. So, if I wanted to be with someone, I could. It's not about that. It's about that person that I know I don't want to be without that I'm looking for.

If you find him, please send him my way. Hopefully I'll have enough courage/intelligence/gumption to recognize that it's him. :-)