Really, Jenn, Really?!

As I avoid the unhikable mountain of work that lies in front of me, I'm forced to contemplate the situations in my life.

Why am I a walking cliche?

I'm trying to think how many times I've started a sentence with, "There's this guy..."

But, there's this guy. He seems reasonable, intelligent, healthy, no baggage, interested, attractive, responsible, caring, attentive...

I know, right? So what's the problem? I think that I've become reconditioned to only deal with assholes. I'm used to games, cat and mouse chases, that ultimately result in my feeling down about myself, wondering how I could have done better. I can only assume that the guy feels victorious as he's successfully evaded another commitment.

I caught myself feeling smothered and a bit turned off today just because he was doing everything that I've ever wanted out of a male. Then it hit me. It is exactly what I do when I first meet someone that I find interesting. (Which really doesn't happen a lot.)

I get over involved, try way too hard, and end up scaring the poor smuck away. I get it now. It's a bit creepy...a bit misplaced, really.

But, then I think of myself. I know that sounds narcissistic, but hear me out.

I'm a pretty awesome catch. I know how hard I will work for someone else's happiness, and I know that no matter what, I always have the other person's interest at heart.

So, that being said, I'm going to overrule my initial feelings of freak out. I am also accepting that even if I do everything right, and so does he, we still might not work out.

And I'm okay with that.