the hour is nigh

well lovvis, i've gone and become radical. okay, not really. but after taking some inventory on my life, i've realized a few things, and i'm planning to re-train myself. i have developed some behaviors that i'm going to kick to the curb.

basically, in case you haven't guessed, this involves my love life. sigh.

i'm not seeking out a relationship. however, men tend to seek me out. that's fine, but when i begin to show interest, it's inevitable that they "aren't ready for a relationship" want to "see other people" or "are scared." basically, i've ended up getting hurt in the last few endeavors, and i'm really not a fan of that at all.

so, new plan.

i'm giving up men in the month of october. yep, you heard me. no, that doesn't mean i'm becoming a lesbian (sorry ladies).

basically, because i'm not actively searching out a relationship (although am open to the idea), i want to stop tarrying with folks that aren't worth my time.

i have a hard time establishing boundaries when it comes to guys as friends, especially if i can see myself with the person. so, this new guys as friends things is something that i'm going to have to work on.

i have a hard time saying that anyone isn't worth my time; however, that's really not the case. i have a lot to offer any person, and i plan to start respecting myself more.

anyway, in order to get to a point where i can establish those boundaries, i've decided to cleanse first. what better way? a fast.

so, here are the rules. i will not give out my number in the month of october. i won't hit on a guy in october. i won't text or call a guy. i won't return a text or call from a guy.

i won't accept any drinks that are bought for me while out. (man, i'm going to have to re-budget.) i will not accept any wine purchase, no matter how nice the bottle. (ugh. that one hurts, but men are trixy. especially those that know my weaknesses.)

as far as social media goes... i will not respond to any private message from guys. i will not send private messages to guys. if i am commented, unless a specific, non-flirty question is asked, they will be ignored. i will not comment any men.

(of course this does not include my gaybees or already established friendships that i have with men. if you are in question, you better ask. you've got six days.)

i've discussed this with a few close friends, and i'm quite open to any ideas you have to tighten up the guidelines. i've gotten a few accountability offers, and i'm open to more.

i'm pretty sure there are already bets of how long i will last. i think someone has already thrown in October 7th. thanks for the support. :p

but really, it's going to be very hard. i'm quite stubborn when it counts, though, and i'm looking forward to being a better person.

i hope to gain better insight of male/female relationship and dynamic. i hope to learn that it's okay to hold myself to higher standards. i'm not against dating, but i'm absolutely no good at it (apparently), so i hope to learn to be better at that.

really, i just want to be better, full stop.