is it okay to say that?

lately i've felt a bit censored in the online community. it's not really that i have obscene things i'm dying to vent in a electronic, public forum, but i would like to think freely, express that, and not worry about who's reading my blog that shouldn't be.

so i've decided to offer a disclaimer...

disclaimer: the content following is personal ranting/rambling from my life. if you are offended in any way, then stop reading my blog.

there, that's done.

on to the good stuff!

this weekend was pretty okay. i mainly relaxed, got no laundry or cleaning done, and saw a pretty funny movie. we went to cuppies and joe on friday, and it made me seriously happy! it was delicious.

on thursday, my friend and i went to a concert at the conservatory. it was also fun, and we had a chance to delve into some topics that have been on the table and not thoroughly discussed.

it truly amazes me what some people have been through. this is likely one of the most kind-hearted people that i know. she's vibrant and always happy, and to hear her talk about her ex makes me want to hunt him down and punch him. she says the same thing about mine, so maybe one day we'll follow up on that. :-)

anyway, it made me think about people and their motivations. even though i've come across some shady people, her ex takes the cake.

i'm convinced he's the most awful person in the world.

it just makes me wonder how people get to be so deceptive, so angry, and just flat out mean. is it all conditional, based on things that happen in childhood? or is it partially innate?

that, of course, brings on an onslaught of questions concerning creation and conditioning.

either way, what motivates different people really shocks me.

i really struggle with seeing the good in everyone, even when they don't deserve it. i just feel eternally positive sometimes, and it has gotten me into trouble.

as much as i hate it, i've realized that i will never understand that kind of person. i'm not built to understand the point of gaining power for pleasure. i don't over-inflate myself to boost my own ego and cover up the shady things i'm actually doing. i don't start fights with people because of my insecurities. i don't cheat on my significant other. i don't tear people down. i know that i'm not always right. i always sincerely want the best for people. seriously.

lately i've really come to appreciate who i am. i'm glad i was created exactly as the person i am/becoming. i'm thankful my parents were/are amazing and raised me to be a genuine person.

i'm also really glad that said friend is now happy, away form the a-hole, and back to the point where she realizes how amazing she is.

if he only knew that he actually made her entirely stronger by trying to tear her down. if he only knew how happy she is now. if he only knew what an idiot he is for letting such an amazing girl go.

even if he never does, all the people that actually matter to her know exactly how lame he is. and really, that's all that matters.

(this blog be dedicated to my angelarito.)